The Polite Way to Pee

 

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: '

Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to... the bathroom?' 

Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' 

The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.

' 'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

 And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'

 Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'

 The teacher was speechless and fainted....

Staring at women’s breasts is good for men’s health and makes them live longer, a new survey reveals.


“Staring at women’s breasts is good for men’s health and makes them live longer, a new survey reveals. Researchers have discovered that a 10-minute ogle at women’s breasts is as healthy as half-an-hour in the gym. A five-year study of 200 men found that those who enjoyed a longing look at busty beauties had lower blood pressure, less heart disease and slower pulse rates compared to those who did not get their daily eyeful.

Dr Karen Weatherby, who carried out the German study, wrote in The New England Journal of Medicine: “Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout. Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There is no question that gazing at breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of a stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life 4 to 5 years.”

She added that sexy stars like Dolly Parton, Heather Locklear, Anna Nicole Smith and Demi Moore had proved to be especially good for the men’s health.” (Jonathan Hayter)

Pretty Faces Get Men’s Brains Going

“A beautiful woman’s face is like chocolate, cash or cocaine to a young man’s brain, according to Harvard University researchers. Their brain-imaging study revealed that while young heterosexual males are indeed capable of finding beauty in another man’s face, only a lovely female visage can set off the “reward centres” in their brains.

When men in the study were shown pictures of various faces, only the female faces deemed beautiful triggered activity in brain regions previously associated with food, drugs and money, according to findings published in the November 8th issue of Neuron. The unique effect of the comely female face occurred despite the fact that the men also rated some male faces as “beautiful.”

“It looks like there can be a difference between what the brain ‘likes,’ an image that is judged to be attractive, and what the brain ‘wants,’ something that is regarded as a reward in and of itself,” study author Dr Hans Breiter, of Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, said in a statement. In their experiments, the researchers first asked a group of men to rate how attractive they found the faces – which, unbeknownst to the participants, had already been placed into the categories “beautiful” or “average.” The men’s ratings, it turned out, fell in line with the categories, and attractive male faces garnered ratings similar to attractive female faces.

But in the next phase of the study, men in another group were allowed to control how long they viewed a particular face by pressing a key. Breiter’s team found that they “expended effort” to see the beautiful female faces for a longer time, but for all other faces they tried only to “make the faces disappear faster.” Finally, in a third group of men studied with brain imaging known as functional MRI, the investigators found that only the attractive female faces set off the brain’s “reward circuitry.”

“It’s particularly interesting that the attractive male faces actually produced what could be considered an aversion response, even though they had been recognised as attractive,” Breiter said. His co-author, Dr Nancy Etcoff, noted that this research echoes previous work suggesting the human perception of beauty may be “in-born.” “While we know that experience, learning and personal idiosyncrasies all have an impact on attraction between particular individuals, these results show that this basic reward response is deeply seated in human nature,” she said in a statement.

Source: New Zealand Herald November 10, 2001 via Reuters
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