Male Female English
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
- Yes = No
- No = Yes
- Maybe = No
- We need = I want
- I am sorry = you'll be sorry
- We need to talk = you're in trouble
- Sure, go ahead = you better not
- Do what you want = you will pay for this later
- I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
- You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
- I am hungry = I am hungry
- I am sleepy = I am sleepy
- I am tired = I am tired
- Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
- I love you = Let's have sex now
- I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
- May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
- Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
- Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
- Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
- Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle .
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
Awesome letter of Jealousy...!!!
Nice one!!
Don?t forget to read fully!!!
She is my first and the only love till this point. Her name is Niveda , a software engineer by profession. She is turning twenty-four shortly and she is undoubtedly the most beautiful girl on earth. I made it a point to share my feelings today with her, hoping this letter would do it all. I have not written any letters in my life till now, and this is perhaps the first time I pen down my thoughts and expectations for the person I love the most on earth.
It's been four years since we met each other and a strong bond has grown between us through these years. I was unaware of her love for a long time. In fact, I hadn't spoken a word with her till about a year I had seen her for the first time. It was in one long journey in train, I understood her love for me. It happened a year ago.
It was a trip from Kanyakumari to Chennai in Kanyakumari Express. We had passed Vizhupuram and it was 3 am in the morning. I thought I was the only one who was awake in the whole compartment in that early hour. But to my surprise, she was also awake.
I didn't know then that it was for me she had got up that early. Hardly had she seemed to move her sight away from me. She smiled at me very often and every time I encountered that cute smile, I started eagerly awaiting the next battle with her smile and shining eyes. Her smile had everything in it, the story of unbelievable affection, care and what not.
?From that moment, till now, I too have loved her to a great extent. We have never exchanged words about the love we have towards each other, but words are too less to reflect the amount of affection and love we share. I have always thought that the love would remain throughout our life and it happened to be the same till three months back.
Vivek had come into my life three months back. In fact I myself had waited his arrival for quite a long time, but from the moment he arrived, he has been the worst enemy in my life. Niveda and he had grown close over times, and the fraction of time she spent with me got lowered to a great extent. Even the latest Sensex fall would be less compared to the fall in her affection for me.
I have wondered how it could suddenly happen, after near to four long years of understanding and love amidst us. At times, I have felt like killing that guy Vivek , but I have not had that much strength or braveness to do that. Still, what can he do? He did no mistake to his part, except for being born charming, cute and fair.
Two days before when I saw her, she was feeding food for him and I was hurt to the core on seeing the incident. My anger had boiled down to tears, and I broke. It took almost close to three hours for me stop crying, I felt I had cried more than how much I would have cried when I was born.
I have been trying to understand where it all went wrong, but to my fortune, till now, I haven't been able spot it out. Once for all, I decided to tell all my feelings to her, no matter how she is going to deal with it. I have heard my dad saying a lot of times 'Something is better than nothing!' and I made up my mind to do 'something'.
I fixed today to be the 'DATE' for throwing open in front of her the 'TALE' of my pure love for her. I don't know whether I will get a positive response from her, but I pray God that only the best happens.
Trrrrriinnnnnnggggg ??!!!!!!!
My school bell has rung. The lunch break is over. My 'UKG ' classmates would be ready to welcome me with the same cute smile as ever.
I hope my 'MOTHER' Niveda will be alright, understands me and shares some time with me also, apart from that she spends with my three months old rascal 'BROTHER' Vivek .
See you after a break!!!
Don?t forget to read fully!!!
She is my first and the only love till this point. Her name is Niveda , a software engineer by profession. She is turning twenty-four shortly and she is undoubtedly the most beautiful girl on earth. I made it a point to share my feelings today with her, hoping this letter would do it all. I have not written any letters in my life till now, and this is perhaps the first time I pen down my thoughts and expectations for the person I love the most on earth.
It's been four years since we met each other and a strong bond has grown between us through these years. I was unaware of her love for a long time. In fact, I hadn't spoken a word with her till about a year I had seen her for the first time. It was in one long journey in train, I understood her love for me. It happened a year ago.
It was a trip from Kanyakumari to Chennai in Kanyakumari Express. We had passed Vizhupuram and it was 3 am in the morning. I thought I was the only one who was awake in the whole compartment in that early hour. But to my surprise, she was also awake.
I didn't know then that it was for me she had got up that early. Hardly had she seemed to move her sight away from me. She smiled at me very often and every time I encountered that cute smile, I started eagerly awaiting the next battle with her smile and shining eyes. Her smile had everything in it, the story of unbelievable affection, care and what not.
?From that moment, till now, I too have loved her to a great extent. We have never exchanged words about the love we have towards each other, but words are too less to reflect the amount of affection and love we share. I have always thought that the love would remain throughout our life and it happened to be the same till three months back.
Vivek had come into my life three months back. In fact I myself had waited his arrival for quite a long time, but from the moment he arrived, he has been the worst enemy in my life. Niveda and he had grown close over times, and the fraction of time she spent with me got lowered to a great extent. Even the latest Sensex fall would be less compared to the fall in her affection for me.
I have wondered how it could suddenly happen, after near to four long years of understanding and love amidst us. At times, I have felt like killing that guy Vivek , but I have not had that much strength or braveness to do that. Still, what can he do? He did no mistake to his part, except for being born charming, cute and fair.
Two days before when I saw her, she was feeding food for him and I was hurt to the core on seeing the incident. My anger had boiled down to tears, and I broke. It took almost close to three hours for me stop crying, I felt I had cried more than how much I would have cried when I was born.
I have been trying to understand where it all went wrong, but to my fortune, till now, I haven't been able spot it out. Once for all, I decided to tell all my feelings to her, no matter how she is going to deal with it. I have heard my dad saying a lot of times 'Something is better than nothing!' and I made up my mind to do 'something'.
I fixed today to be the 'DATE' for throwing open in front of her the 'TALE' of my pure love for her. I don't know whether I will get a positive response from her, but I pray God that only the best happens.
Trrrrriinnnnnnggggg ??!!!!!!!
My school bell has rung. The lunch break is over. My 'UKG ' classmates would be ready to welcome me with the same cute smile as ever.
I hope my 'MOTHER' Niveda will be alright, understands me and shares some time with me also, apart from that she spends with my three months old rascal 'BROTHER' Vivek .
See you after a break!!!
Requirement of Girl Friend..............!
Requirement of Girl Friend..............!
Hi,
Due to some personal, I left my Girlfriend . I need new one now, so pass on this information to your female friends...
Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below:
Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience : Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)
Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.
Age: 18-22 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective..
Perks and incentives:
Total gross ( Monthly ) :
* 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
* Bike rides each duration 1 hour on OMR.
* Trips to National Highways
* 5 Trips to some Beach / Water parl / Zoo
* Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
* Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
* 2 movies per month (on weekends)
* Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every weekend (On your own expense)
A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.
Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and Un-professional taxes will be informed on joining.
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)
Please NOTE:
1. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
2. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.
There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral program by referring their friends, colleagues etc.
Candle light/Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.
Search never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume with
Subject: Name/fresher-exp/age.
Photo must be attached in the email
Note: Applications without photo will be rejected.
Hi,
Due to some personal, I left my Girlfriend . I need new one now, so pass on this information to your female friends...
Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below:
Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience : Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)
Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.
Age: 18-22 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective..
Perks and incentives:
Total gross ( Monthly ) :
* 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
* Bike rides each duration 1 hour on OMR.
* Trips to National Highways
* 5 Trips to some Beach / Water parl / Zoo
* Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
* Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
* 2 movies per month (on weekends)
* Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every weekend (On your own expense)
A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.
Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and Un-professional taxes will be informed on joining.
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)
Please NOTE:
1. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
2. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.
There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral program by referring their friends, colleagues etc.
Candle light/Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.
Search never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume with
Subject: Name/fresher-exp/age.
Photo must be attached in the email
Note: Applications without photo will be rejected.
GATE level question
Read ahead...
GATE question
The mom is 21 years older than the child.
In 6 years from now the mom will be 5 times as old as the child.
Question :
Where's the father?
Try first, before you check the answer below!
Please try this one. Please do not scroll down till you give up with the answer.
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Solution :
The mom is 21 years older than the child.
M = C + 21
In 6 years from now the mom will be 5 times as old as the child.
M + 6 = (C + 6) x 5
Hence,
C + 21 + 6 = (C + 6) x 5
C + 27 = 5C + 30
-3 = 4C
C = -3/4 = -9 months
The child is -3/4 years old, it'll be born in 9 months.
"So right now, the father is on top of the MOTHER!
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